Almost an oxymoronic idea. Broken to become whole. And more beautifully, thoroughly, unimaginably whole because it isn’t a thing that we take, but a thing longed for and received. Beautiful and amazing.
I used to have this crippling and misguided idea that I had to get it all together before I could be “good enough” to walk into God’s grace. Oppressive and burdensome, that constant trying to be presentable to the One you love and be the best you in order to somehow be okay enough to stand at the perimeter of His circle and peek at Him from the corner of an eye.
What a relief that I was so wrong. I delight unabashedly in the depth of my misinformation! I dance in it, and I invite you to dance in it with me;-) The brokenness is the meeting place, the holy junction. Jesus walked into brokenness by absolute decision of love (for God as His Daddy as well as for us) so He could walk next to us via the Holy Spirit with an arm wrapped around us, saying, “Oh, man! I know! It hurts, and it frightens, and it frustrates, irritates, exacerbates, and makes you just want to scream. I REMEMBER.” Communion is where we sweep all of those shards of who we are into however many emotional bags it takes, walk in hope and expectation to the altar, and say, “Lord, I need you to love me here and here and here, and please, teach me to love me there, too, because I just don’t know how.”
The wild thing is, because He had the backing of Heaven in lifting Him out of His brokenness, that’s exactly the place we should be bringing ours. Because, face it, if we were in such great shape to get it all cleaned up before going to God, it would kind of be a rip off. Coming to Him with everything wrong, out of sorts, broken, busted up, wrecked — when we are completely honest in where we are, who we are, and how very needy we are — that is where we learn, really learn just what love is. To get wrapped up in the kind of love that meets us exactly where we are gives us the freedom to love with abandon, to love the broken parts of who we are, and to learn to see through the eyes of Another. With those eyes, we sincerely see our imperfections and are given the amazing grace to love others even more, not in spite of their broken places, but because of their broken places.
I want to meet in that place more often, because quite often, it takes something much bigger than me to help me believe that this whole life thing is going to be okay. And, Jesus, that guy has some serious skills in that area.
